My Answer –
If you cheated then you definitely have the capacity to bear him leaving you. And he should. People who cheats doesn’t deserve a companion in their death bed.
But sex is different story, your sex life is yours to choose. Not the ending though. For example it’s not a crime to have sex unprotected or with anyone you desire but if your partner have stds, you will get it, it’s just simple fact. If you are unfaithful at your sex life, you don’t deserve a faithful companion. And since to unfaithful it’s all about the attraction and pleasure and the thrill, when it’s gone, companions are gone. But to faithful, it’s not just about that, it’s about love, affection, responsibility, they are much more important to just simply abuse it just by being unfaithful. So when your body losses the beauty and gets older, you will be thrown away like nothing.
Unfortunately you are one of the un-faithful by your actions. So no need to try to be the person you are not. Be the person you are. Don’t deny yourself. But you have to except the shortcomings too. You can’t just take a medication and expect it to do only good, it always have side effects.
Have fun with yourself as long as you can because if Karma exists at the end of the day you will be alone. Since you have already done it, there is no reconciliation, no getting back. But you don’t have to be unhappy about it, people just are what they are. You don’t belong in the faithful group, so you won’t. There is no right or wrong when it comes to smoking, but if you do, you might get cancer, that doesn’t mean you have to blame your self and live in psychological torment, but physicals suffering on the other hand you have bear that, except it or not. Because that’s nature’s revenge for abusing your body.
If you were faithful then you could have said you deserve a life long relationship, the same way if you exercise you can say you deserve a healthy body. Sometimes there are exceptions but most of the time regularity persist.
I hope that make sense. I don’t judge. It’s not a crime to break a man’s heart. But there is a thing called nature’s revenge. Nobody gets away. Sooner or later Karma catches up, and if you take a look at nature, nature is heartless. It doesn’t provide forgiveness. Because forgiving someone can be eternally cruel to those who didn’t do anything wrong. So if forgive a guilty, what is the difference between guilty and the innocents ?
But it could also be true that may be he too cheated on you. That could be nature’s way of telling you you belong together for a short period while the youth lasts.